As a heads up (and you all can probably already tell) but I’m not the target audience for this book. I don’t have children, I’m not going through a divorce and I’m definitely NOT a dad.
So…why read this book?
To be honest, I was curious. I’m not a huge fan of self-help books BUT I like reading self-help or guidance books for people of all walks of life (bit of a contradiction, I know).
But to me, there’s something inherently fascinating about reading about other walks of life and also I feel like there’s a lot of growth that happens when you try to understand other people’s perspectives (especially those vastly different from your own).
So, when I saw this book about divorcing dads, I just knew I had to request a copy.
And let me tell you, it did not disappoint.
This book focused on how to guide dads through a tough divorce.
It starts with the breaking point – that moment where you realize that things just cannot work the way they were and that the only way to move forward is to go apart. The book discusses the best way to explain this to the kids and how to move forward as parents (even if you are no longer a couple).
From there the book discusses the essential rules to facilitating a collaborative divorce (i.e. the golden rules of communication) before going into the To-Do’s (i.e. finding a new place or settling into the current home sans ex-spouse).
Then the book goes into how to establish a routine to ease the separation, coparenting basics, custody and how to handle the emotional changes (i.e. the upheavals that come with divorce and birthdays/holidays with/without the kids).
And finally the book rounds out with a “where to go from here” in which it discusses how to keep things going and delves a bit into dating/second marriages.
I feel like this book does a great job of laying out the various steps in an easy-to-understand way – things are told sequentially and provide to-the-point instructions.
I really liked how the author had a mixture of anecdotes and sources to back up his assertions. And that he speaks from experience (the author is a divorced father of four).
I also appreciated that he was realistic – after all, it is no secret that divorce courts have traditionally favored the mothers – but also the author provided many suggestions on how to combat that and increase your chances.
And above all, I appreciate how the book constantly focuses on the most important thing in the divorce – the kids. Not the petty ex-couple squabbles. Not the contentious in-laws. The. Kids. Everything in the book circled the concept of taking care of the children in the best way possible.
Overall, despite not having personal experience in the area, I do feel like this is a great book to read when you are going through a divorce.
With thanks to Familius for sending a free copy in exchange for an honest review